Thursday, September 22, 2005

Breaking News:

Greenpeace and Sierra Club policy wonks are scrambling to find a connection between the Mars Rovers and Big Oil, Halliburton and the Bush Administration after it was revealed that Martian ice caps are rapidly melting.. apparently due to global warming.

When it was suggested that increased solar activity might be the cause of the phenomenon on both planets, activist Barba Streisand exclaimed: "Dont be an ass.. you know how far away Mars is from here?"

Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and New Black Panther Party leader Attorney Malik Zulu Shabazz suggested it was a Bush plot to kill indigenous Martians.

Meanwhile, commenters on Markos Zuniga's Blog DailyKos are suggesting a CIA plot to siphon off the CO2 polar caps from Mars to Earth in order to hasten the economic disruptions already in the works for Cuba and Venezuela.

Cindy Sheehan, after consulting with interstellar statesman Ramsey Clark, demanded an immediate end to the occupation of Mars, in addition to Iraq and New Orleans.

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